Archive | Health & Wellness

Looking Sexy Over 40

Being in my 50’s myself, and having lots of friends over 40, I am aware that we are a group of woman who are not embracing our age in the same way our parents’ generation did. That’s why we hear the phrases, “50 is the new 40”, “40 is the new 30”, and so on. And we do look younger than our mothers and grandmothers did at our age due to advances in healthcare, healthy eating, regular exercise, yoga, good skincare products, cosmetic procedures, great clothing, and attitude. We are working later, going back to school, divorcing and dating, travelling and just doing our best to stay healthy and live life to the fullest.

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Showing too much skin is a “no-no”.

In our attempt to stay young, many of us in our 40’s find this time in our life confusing and difficult when it comes to dressing. We don’t want to look silly dressing too young and yet we don’t want to dress frumpy either. Here are some tips for helping guide you through this challenging time in our lives and still look sexy and fabulous …

  • Don’t buy clothes in the same stores your teenage daughters buy their clothes. Your kids want you to look attractive but they do NOT want you to dress like them.
  • Choose quality over “fast fashion”. Cheap just looks, well, cheap.
  • The older we get, the more we need to embrace a classic, timeless style.
  • To inspire your style, find one or two celebrities who are your age, a similar body type, and whose style you admire, and follow them online. They have professional stylists who help them and can help you figure what is appropriate for you.
  • If you are going to show skin to be sexy, choose ONE area only … cleavage, legs, shoulders. If you show too much skin all at once, you will just look slutty, instead of sexy.
  • Be very careful about showing cleavage. As we age, this area can become creapy and show your age too much. Breasts smushed together, forming a straight vertical line just show age. Instead, show off your shoulders or your collar bones, which tend to remain toned longer.
  • Update your undergarments! Wearing the right bra and getting the girls “up” will help you look 10 pounds younger and 10 years younger! Lots of women are wearing worn-out bras or the wrong fit! Go for a professional fitting. Also, if you are still wearing “granny” panties, it might be time to try out some boy shorts, cheekies or thongs to get rid of those panty lines. Plus, pretty underthings just makes you feel pretty and more ready to drop those clothes when those moments of passion happen!
  • Do you have to cut your hair short just because you are over 40? No! But long, straggly hair with no style will definitely age you. So does hair down to your waist! Once over 40, hair just below or at your shoulders tends to be more flattering, as well as side bangs that soften our foreheads. I love my short, short hair because I just feel sassiest, but short hair isn’t for everyone.
  • Let the younger ones wear mini skirts and short shorts! On women over 40, generally we look like we are trying too hard, even if you have great legs. Skirts should be no shorter than 2″ above the knee. If you have a shorter sundress, then wear it with flats or flat sandals to still look tasteful. Your shorts should have a 4″ inseam, at a minimum. And if you struggle with cellulite on your thighs (as most of us do), ensure your shorts or dress or skirt is long enough that when you sit down and cross your legs, that those problem areas are covered. I have seen more than my share of women who are showing more than they realize when sitting.
  • Towering heels again should be left to the young. Choose a 3″ or 4″ tasteful heel or wedge, or a kitten heel. Even though shoes always fit, some shoes can be too young for you.
  • Beauty is genetic, but being attractive is making the most out of what you have. That means you have found the best hairstyle for your face shape, age and hair texture. It means you have learned how to apply cosmetics that play up your best features. It means you wear colours that work for you and styles that flatter your body type.
  • A sexy woman is a stylish woman. Fashion comes and go, but style is who you are! If you need help in this area, a personal stylist can help! Personal stylists aren’t just for celebrities. See my website at www.theclosetdiva.ca to see how I can help you find your style, and how affordable it can be!

Finally, the sexiest woman is a confident woman! Throw your shoulders back, smile, and know you are one of a kind who is here on this planet for a reason, and the world needs to know you!

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Online Dating Tips from a Personal Stylist

Reprinted from my article published in Eligible Magazine:

I have recently re-entered the dating world and thus, online dating sites. Eghaaads, the horrors I have beheld! It seems so obvious and logical to me, but from all of the terrible profile pictures I have seen, here is some advice, from a personal stylist’s perspective, for all of you who want to put your best foot forward on an online dating site.

online-dating-1No blurry photos! None. Ever. No bad selfies either for your main photo. No matter what your budget, a good headshot that shows your entire face for your main profile picture, is vital. And … smile! I don’t even bother checking out a profile if the guy isn’t smiling. I assume he’s not a happy person and therefore, I don’t want him. People are attracted to smiling faces. And, NO sunglasses for your main photo! We need to see your eyes.

Then, add one or two full-length shots so we have an idea of your body type and shape. The photos should within the last year. If you have put on some pounds, then take new pictures. This is the most common complaint I hear from men. They ask women out and then the woman shows up 20 pounds heavier or 20 years older than her profile pictures. That’s a “no no”, and it you won’t get you very far, even if you have a sparkling personality. Someone will like you for who you are now … maybe someone who is also carrying a “few extra pounds”. Be realistic. If you deceive, they will run!

Guys need to understand that blurry shots of you off in the distant with your hunting buddies does not cut it. Neither does a distant shot of you in some exotic location in your sunglasses. No photos with sunglasses unless you have some other good photos without them posted. Also, no pictures with your kids or pets. Let’s just showcase you right now. And, lastly, please, no half cut-off pictures where we just KNOW it was your spouse or your last girlfriend!

If you haven’t updated your hairstyle, cosmetics, glasses or wardrobe since your last relationship, it may be time. Outdated glasses turn me off, but I melt for a guy in a suit. Pictures of you wearing a faded, silk-screened T-shirt won’t cut it. Also for guys, shirtless pics are a “no no”. It’s tacky. Don’t do it. “Wife beaters” (tank tops) aren’t great either. And, ladies, keep it classy. Photos showing too much skin will bring you a certain kind of attention, but perhaps not the quality relationship you are actually looking for. I bet the guys would love to see you wearing a form-fitting dress or a pencil skirt and looking like they could take you out somewhere.

If you can’t afford a professional photographer, then get a friend to take some new pictures. I promise you, follow these tips and it will be worth the effort!

 

Janise_Bachler_250pixSince 2006, Janise Bachler, the Closet Diva has been helping men & women learn how to dress and to refine their personal image in a way that brings them personal and professional success. Janise works with clients on closet editing, personal shopping and styling services. Janise is also a professional speaker and is the author of the book, Closet Rescue, available on Amazon. Janise Bachler has appeared on Global TV, CityTV, and in the Calgary Herald.

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Stop Calling Yourself Fat!

I had a “light bulb moment”, as Oprah used to say, the other morning during my workout. I was pinching an inch (or two … lol), and thinking to myself, “I am fat.” Then I realized how silly that statement really is. My body does not consist only of fat! I have muscle, organs, skin, bones and blood. I just have some fat on my body!

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You are not fat.

So, we need to stop calling ourselves “fat”, as in, “I am fat.” NO! You are not a lump of excess yuck. You might have some excess fat on your body you need to rid yourself of, but you are not a lump of lard.

You are a glorious woman!! Instead, I suggest we all start saying, “I am a glorious woman who needs to lose some fat.” Now, doesn’t that feel different?

Yes, love yourself, re-frame your thinking, and it can change everything!

XO – Janise

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